Sambandam was the traditional marriage practiced by Nambudiri, Nair, Samanthan and Ambalavasi among their own communities as well as with each other, in Kerala, India. Sambantham is the marriage tradition among the traditional matrilineal castes.
A man from a higher subcaste could marry women from his own subcaste or from neighboring lower subcastes, but the reverse was not allowed.
Nambuthiri Brahmins, in particular, followed specific marriage customs. The eldest Nambuthiri Brahmin was required to marry within his own community, while younger brothers could marry women from the Kshatriya or equivalent castes. They were permitted to marry women only from royal families, the highest subcaste of the Nairs, or the Ambalavasi castes.
Similarly, Samantha Kshatriyas, who practiced upanayanam and belonged to royal lineages, could marry women from the Samantha Nair or proper Nair subcastes.
Next in rank were the Adiyodi, Pillai, Kurup, or Samantan Nairs. These groups occupied a social position between the Samantha Kshatriyas and the proper Nairs. Men from these castes could marry women from the Kiriyathil or Charna Nair subcastes.
The Kiriyathil Nairs, considered the highest occupational subcaste among the proper Nairs in the Malabar region, could marry women from the Malabari Sudra or Purathu Charnavar groups.
The Purathu Charnavar men, in turn, could marry women from the Akathu Parisha Nair subcaste.
Children born from such unions were considered part of the mother’s lineage, with the father having no rights to them.
This custom was also followed by the Ambalavasi subcastes and intermediate Nair subdivisions. In the Malabar districts, where the system was common from the Variyar to the Shaliya castes, the Variyar (an Ambalavasi subcaste) ranked below the Samanthans and above the Nairs, while the Shaliya was an intermediate Nair subcaste ranking below the proper Nairs.
womens from higher subdivisions are not allowed to form sambandham with men from lower subdivisons. Marrying women from other castes is highly restricted and results in loss of caste.
Sambandham is, strictly speaking, dissoluble at the will of either party without any formal ceremony being gone through for the purpose, but that will is controlled by public opinion which views with disfavour divorces made for trivial reasons. In cases of divorce, the children always go with their mother. Their legal guardian is their uncle, or karanavan (managing member) of the mother’s house. Both widows and divorced women are allowed to remarry, but the second and subsequent marriages of women are not celebrated with even as much formality as the first marriage. The man goes to the woman’s house with friends, and giving her betel-leaves and nut or dresses, takes her to wife.